Often decisions made subconsciously are the ones that have the most impact. In life we often find ourselves either going through the motions, or swimming against the stream. It’s weird when you think about when you first meet a person, very rarely do they come forth with their problems, and true thoughts. They tend to open that part of them way further down in your relationship. When you first meet a person what you get is their fun side, their party people side. It is what brings two people together, a certain pull. All you see is the fun, little, positives in them. You fall in love with their smile, the way they dress, how they slowly begin to open up to you. In the beginning it’s casual, and the casualness grows with time. You begin to talk more, to share more; maybe you go out a few times. Suddenly someone who has entered your life, who you had no idea would pull you to the emotional heights that they have, becomes a constant. So much so that the fact that one day you may not see them again, saddens you.
That’s when it’s as if fate, or the world, or life, decides to intervene and start pulling the strings. This person shows you a different side to them. The more human side. The side that is filled with their personal thoughts and emotions, their dreams and ambitions, their problems and worries. It’s a side that makes you feel sad for them, that makes you want to hold them, to make things right for them. As they continue to open up to you, you to try to find similarities in their sorrow, their misery. You want to relate, but you know you can’t, because you haven’t been through what they’ve been through. Your mind becomes consumed by them, by their problems. You give them false hope, and try to convince them that their ambitions will pan out one day, overcoming their problems. It’s a hollow statement, one you don’t fully believe yourself, even when you apply it to your own life. But what can you tell a person who is struggling, and has chosen you to convey their struggles. As they pour out their deepest thoughts and emotions it’s as if they stripping themselves naked in front of you, their beauty on full display. Yet what you are infatuated with is their scars. Each one with it’s own unique story. Their beauty is God given, but they’ve carved out their own imprints. You tell them that their scars are really gorgeous, even if that is a weird way to give compliments.
Relationships never end, they are always ongoing, perpetual. That’s because even if you end a relationship, you still think about that person. Their image, their name, their memory always manages to spring back into your head. You would never think about a stranger, or someone who never meant anything to you, but you always think about someone who had an impact on your life. When you bump into them, emotions always come flooding back. Whether it’s happiness, anger, hatred, or nostalgia, this person holds the power to invoke something out of you. To disrupt your normal state of being, even if it is for just a moment, until you manage to collect yourself back together. It’s weird when you think about when you first meet a person, none of these thoughts come to mind. All you’re thinking about is the nice scent of perfume they’re wearing, or their bright smile.